Thursday, October 16, 2014

Yesterday was National Grump Day

... but I missed it because I was busy being grumpy.

Have you seen the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?

Here are some of my how to's:

How to.... be super productive
1. Write a list of everything that needs to be done.  Prioritize 5 things that need to be done today.
2. Keep a notepad next to you.  As you think of some other little thing to do, or need space for doodles, write them down and get back to work.
3. Track your hours: knock out 1 big thing and 2-3 little things.  Then take a 5 minute break to stretch, walk around, and get some water.
4. If you're working on the computer, look away after 20 minutes of working; meanwhile, stretch your neck to the side and back.
5. Have a relaxing prize in mind.  Whether it's a clean desk, a bath, a cup of tea, an item you wanted to buy, or an outing with a friend - make sure you have something to look forward to.  Here's the cinch: you get it no matter how today goes.  So, if you have a busy day only to have your boss change their mind and make tomorrow another stressful day, you still get that bath ;)

How to.... be grumpy
1. Enjoy cute grumpy and frumpy cartoon such as Maxine.  Decorate your desk with with these calendars.
2. Post pictures of un-smiling animals whilst everyone is posting pictures of cute and smiling pets.  Share a grumpy cat photo, a frowning alligator,  an apathetic dog.  If you are not feeling particularly creative, visit for inspiration.
3. Wear loose clothing - think yoga pants, scarves, and hoodies, and refuse to do anything reasonable, proclaiming that today is a grumpy day.
4. Try not to smile or laugh.  It's a quick way to end the grumpy day.  Be wary of those who try to cheer you up, particularly those close to you - they know how to get to you.
5. Make lists of things that make you grumpy.  Leaf blowers, bugs, sad people, the cold....

How to.... survive a period (for women)
1. Drink lots of water.  Yep!  Despite the bloating, drink lots of water to keep your body clean on the inside.  Anytime you feel a swell of emotion of pain, drink some more.
2. Accept that you may be a little off... whatever "little" means to you.  Take care of your emotional self at this point.
3. Try deep breathing.  I don't mean sit and focus on the pain for hours... I mean, take a few deep breaths in between what you are doing.
4. Stretch!  Don't feel compelled to do heavy aerobics, but do make sure to stretch your back, torso, legs, and feet.
5. Calorie count.  Wait what??? Yep... that's what I said.  Make sure you try to eat healthy during this time as you'll need those nutrients.  If you do eat unhealthily (hey it happens) make sure your calorie count isn't soaring through the roof.  Those calories will stay with you after this time is gone.

How to.... survive a period (for married men)
1. Offer to bring your wife things.  Chocolate, advil, heating pads...
2. Bring your wife things without asking... don't know what? Chocolate, tea, something pretty are always safe bets.
3. Escape the insanity!  Make sure you leave and hang out with friends or family, cause hey, you need to take care of your mental health too.
4. Make sure you don't get too sympathetic: don't develop a sympathetic period.  Remind yourself that your body is not hormonal and craving extra calories and tears.
5. Watch movies and cozy up together.

How to.... have a snow day
1. Pick out favorite movies and make popcorn.
2. Grab the warmest blankets and make a fort of them on a bed or couch.  Bonus points if you are near a fireplace.
3. Go play outside (even if you're an adult... maybe particularly if you're an adult) until you are exhausted.   Come inside, change into your most wintry themed pjs, and have some hot chocolate while cozy-ing in your blanket fort.
4. Take a nap!
5. Go to bed early or stay up really late - have a sleepover and talk late into the night or watch movie after movie.

How to.... make quick and affecting changes in your life
1. Get your hair styled or cut or colored
2. Put up a picture near your desk or some place that you spend a lot of time
3. If you're a girl: get a makeover or a manicure that's different that usual
4. Buy yourself a new work bag.  Make sure it's something that makes you giddy happy as well as being practical.  (Are you a sucker for pockets?  Does that thing have 23? Score!
5. Change when you go to bed.  Yep!  Go to bed earlier.... try super early and see how that goes.

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